A letter to my daughter on her 16th Birthday

Dear Daughter,

We chose you and you honoured us with your presence this day, 16 years ago.

You came in without apology, full battery load of vibrance and memorable drama (16 hours labour for a start).

I remember every detail about your birth, especially having to climb and descend 3 flights of stairs a 100 times in order to ‘encourage’ your ‘majesty’ to finish with your ‘make-up’ and come out of the womb before the doctors make up their minds to cut me up in order to bring you out!

I often replay that day in my head.

You know, How the water finally broke after the grueling drill of ‘mountaineering’ within the hospital walls, and how I was rushed to the delivery room in a frenzy of feverish movements by the doctors and midwives, how you screamed your lungs out as soon as you breathed earth’s air…

They brought you to me soon after and the first thing I noticed was your long and thin fingers, I said to myself: ‘she’s going to be tall; this one’. Then I noticed your body full of hair, and I smiled at the image of a Lion’s mane forming in my head…You looked up at me and smiled back, your nose looking exactly as your scan at 5 months showed, and I felt a kind of love that I had never felt before… that type that convinces you that for this one, you can serve without asking for a dime in return, and for this one, you can go to war and win.

You have created a love inside of me so fierce, so unbreakable, so unending, and so unconditional. I am incredibly lucky to have been chosen to be your mom. I really must have done something right in life to have been given a child like you.

Watching you grow into this amazing young woman is one good reason to celebrate today… You are that girl that I always wished I could be. You are beautiful, confident, smart, and well-liked by most. You shine in everything you do. Your siblings look up to you, as well as family and friends.

What I admire most is your sense of commitment and consistency. When you set your heart on working on something, you give it your all, regardless of the sacrifice it takes, when You start it, you doggedly go on to give it good completion.

I remember our David & Goliath’s story (and lessons). It’s amazing how well you employ it and deploy it for excellent results at home, at school and in all you do.

Indeed, you’re beautiful in and out. You’re amazingly considerate as a child. I recall you giving up tuck shop allowance, school snacks and school fruits in your own attempt ‘to help Mommy’ when I had one of those financial crises that resulted in not being able to complete your school fees then.

Let me use this occasion to remind you of how incredibly proud I am of you.

If I have ever been hard on you, or set high expectations that you sometimes feel are impossible to reach, let me reassure you that it’s not intended to break you, but to mould you. I set those expectations because I want you to achieve everything you have ever wanted to be. I want all of your greatest dreams to come true. I never want you to feel undeserving of anything, because you deserve the absolute best that life has to offer.

So, now you’re 16, and then what?

From where I sit, seeing what you can’t see yet even if you climb a skyscraper in an attempt to do so, I have just one thing to tell you to do.

Don’t be gentle with ‘Life’.

Dear daughter,when you have to, Fight. Swim. Run. Fly. Kick. Scream. Punch.

Do what it takes to tell to life that you didn’t come here to be run roughshod over, let it know that you’re here to live and not to merely exist, so help you God. Amen.

Let life know that you are here to make the good choices and don’t let ‘life’ do that choosing for you.

Remember: those awards, those wins, those positions of leadership, they didn’t come by sitting and merely expecting them. If it didn’t when you were less than 16, trust me when I say the stakes are higher from now on.

The Dos from now on: Your belief in God and His Grace without expecting ‘Manna’. Your confidence and unwavering interest in being better today, than your yesterday, every day. Your stance on ‘I am my best competition’. Your genuine interest in meeting good people. You never know what door will open if you just put yourself out there. You’re not perfect and as such, you will make mistakes, but it’s okay because that’s how we all learn and become better. I’ve certainly had my share of them, and still make some. There are some I wish I could redo, but life is like that, we are nothing without our scars.

Certainly, on your DO list my darling treasure, is to imbibe your lessons on ‘when all the chips are down; the best of friends can only try, only God is real’. Continue with your admirable considerate core and certainly, your preference over taking on challenges rather than sticking to your comfort zone. Most importantly, guard jealously, Your patience.

To be honest, you have probably taught me more than I think I’ve taught you as far as patience go. I’ll probably (actually, definitely) still lecture you simply because I am your mom and that’s what Moms do, but I surely have learnt from you to not sweat the small things. You rarely get involved in any pettiness, and never really care what people who don’t matter think of you. You choose kindness several times ahead of judgement, and stand up for what you believe in. Borrowing from your examples, I stress less than I used to.

I admire your quiet strength in the way you accept the unfair things that happen to you. You keep moving forward, never letting it drag you down. I wish I could write about that, but I’ve long decided that its best in your own handwriting.

I hope your birthday is everything you dreamed it could be. I pray this 16th year will deliver to you first, wisdom and God given guidance. I pray you will be blessed with fulfilment of dreams and purpose. I also pray that the years to come will bless you with more reasons for joy. You will never know a better yesterday and your life will not be cut short. I wish you long life and prosperity, and many happy returns of this day and the joy it brings.

Remember how loved you are.

You are my sweet baby. You always will be Mom’s little girl and your sisters’ greatest idol.

We will all always be here for you, The OLUWAs – your biggest fans.

Your story is just beginning and I can’t wait to watch you write it.

Love, Mom.